Butterfly Lost
by Ivycat
Summary: Deals with the aftermath of the shuttle that was transporting Sarina to science station being blown up by suspected Maquis. Devastated, Bashir withdraws, but with a little nudging from a 'Plain and Simple Tailor' he and Kira stumbled on a plot that threatens the very foundations of Starfleet. NO SLASH. Could be moved up to M in later chapters for violence.
1. Chapter 1

**Butterfly Los****t,****© By Ivycat**

* * *

** To understand this story it is helpful if you have seen the episode Chrysalis. "_Chrysalis_" is the 155th episode of Star Trek: _Deep Space Nine_, the fifth episode of the seventh season. Also, complementary but not exactly necessary, is ****_Statistical Probabilities_, _Star Trek_: Deep Space Nine season 6 episode 9. This is the first episode Sarina appears in. All characters belong to Paramount and the Star Trek franchise.**

* * *

It was four days before the information reached the station. Four normal days that were marked only by their un-eventfulness.

It was in the morning briefing that Bashir found out the news.

It had been a normal briefing; all the senior officers were there, some with their favorite hot beverage as they tried to awaken.

Kira had been the one conducting the briefing that day.

"…And last of all, we have a report of a shuttle that left here four days ago never reached its first destination. Survivors claim to have been attacked by a Maquis ship. Only three escape pods were found leading it to be assumed the rest were killed in the explosion."

"That does not sound typical of the Maquis at all." Ezri remarked, curious.

"They do not attack Federation unless they think we are directly aiding the Cardassians."

"Yes. It does sound unlike them."

Sisko agreed. He had no reason to love the Maquis, but wanton and senseless destruction to innocent civilians was rare indeed, if not unheard of.

"Have they claimed responsibility?" This was from Worf, who was glowering at the end of the table.

"No. There have been no statements from anyone." Kira looked frustrated as she scanned her PADD.

"What was the ship carrying? Any cargo beside the passengers?" Sisko was puzzled by this, the pieces just did not seem to fit, and he did not like being puzzled.

"No. No cargo. It was just a civilian transport heading to the Corgal research center. It only held passengers."

Kira broke off at the sudden exclamation from Bashir. the others at the table turned to look at him.

He had lost all the color in his face and was half out of his chair.

"What did you say?" His voice was choked.

In an instant of realization Kira remembered he had a friend on the shuttle. Sarina had been on that transport, headed to the research center.

"There were survivors, though they are not listed here." She said sympathetically.

"I will get a detailed list of the survivors. I am sure Sarina is safe, Doctor."

The change of mood at the table was palpable. Ezri looked miserable, almost close to tears.

Odo was grim, angry.

Worf was angry. But then he was always angry.

Kira was maintaining a facade of strained optimism.

Sisko kept his poker face; it was hard to tell what he was thinking.

Bashir's face was easy to read however. Fear, Dread anxiety were all easy to read on his face.

The rest of the briefing passed in a blur for him. There was only the heavy weight of dread in the pit of his stomach. He was as scared as hell something had happened to her.

He had begun to love her, but in the end had let her go because it was what was right. At least he thought it was right at the time, now in retrospect it may have been the worst decision of his life.

If he had been more reserved would it have made a difference? Maybe she would have stayed and never been scared off by his overwhelming attentions, never felt the need to board the Corgal bound shuttle.

She could have been alive right now.

"Doctor."

Sisko's deep voice startled him out of his reverie.

Bashir started.

"Yes sir?"

"The meeting ended, you may go."

He looked around for confirmation;disoriented, the room was empty.

Without a word he stood to his feet and stumbled out of the briefing room.

* * *

Kira was working at a console and called him over, he walked over to her in slow-motion, feeling all the eyes of everyone in ops on him. How had everyone found out so quickly? He wished they would stop staring at him.

Then it happened. O'Brian stepped off the turbo lift his face tense and strained. He hurried across ops to stand beside Kira; he reached her side before Bashir, and just stood there, looking at him.

Their faces slowly came into focus to Julian. Kira was looking at him with pity. Miles face was a study of fleeting emotions, Dread, sorrow, regret and worry.

In that moment is seemed as if Bashir's life shattered into a thousand pieces.

He stopped in his tracks, holding out his hands to stop their words.

He did not need them to say anything. He already knew.

Sarina was dead.

Sarina with her open smile and child-like wonder at the world surrounding her. Her innocence and kind heart. She was so young. Gone.

The blood drummed in his body, suddenly seeming very loud. A tide of emotion so overwhelming that it physically hurt swept over him.

A hand was on his arm, guiding him to a chair. He thought it was Kira.

He blinked, uncomprehendingly.

Dead.

Sarina had died.

He had to get away from all the people staring at him, he needed to be alone.

"If you will excuse me I will go to the infirmary."

"No, Julian, I am sure they can do without you for a few hours."

This was from O'Brian.

"NO, I have to go.I have patients to see, I need to keep myself busy."

"Are you sure...?

He brushed off their concerns. Did they not see he had to keep active or go mad?

"I agree."

That was Sisko, when had he come in the room?

"And if you need it to be, that is an order, Doctor."

"I…I see."

His voice was too high pitched. His vocal chords hurt from the effort of suppressing his tears. Where was this coming from? He did not cry.

Swallowing hurt.

"I will take care of notifying sickbay." Kira said.

He nodded in thanks and stepped towards the turbo lift. O'Brian accompanied him, he was not sure if he was making sure Julian actually went to his quarters or if he was just on his way back to any project he had been working on.

Miles turned to him his face clearly showing his sorrow for Julian's loss.

"I am so sorry, Julian. I know how much she meant to you."

"If you want you could come to dinner, Keiko is cooking up tempura, I know how much you like her tempura."

"Thank you. But I don't…." Bashir's voice trailed off.

It was hard to talk. There was the overwhelmingly loud sound of his heart pushing everything else aside.

(_Tha __**thump**__, tha __**thump**__, tha __**thump**_**.**)

It was syncopated in time to the thoughts in his head.

_(Sarina is __**dead**__. Sarina is __**dead**__. Sarina is _**dead.**)

"Well, if you change your mind, or just need anything, I am here." O'Brian was too worried for Julian to deliver his offer in the gruff manner he adopted in the face of any emotions.

There was no response; Julian stepped off the turbo lift and onto the promenade. He had no set destination. He wandered to places he had been with Sarina, seeing a faint image of her, a ghost of his memories. But soon they faded and scattered like dust in the wind.

Then he turned back to head to his quarters passing the tailor shop.

"Ah, Doctor! Good morning to you! Are we still on for lunch?" Garak inquired, smiling.

His smile faltered and disappeared as Bashir walked by with no acknowledgement of his question.

Garak tilted his head.

This was very curious; Bashir was nothing if not unfailingly polite. Then a customer walked in and interrupted his train of thought. He was not about to give up on this mystery though, he loved it when he had a problem to solve.

* * *

Julian had only been in his quarters for two hours when he was ready to break something. He had tried reading a book, he could not focus the words danced and swam before him, leaving no imprint on his mind. He tried another book, which also failed to capture his attention.

He tried working on the virus Sarina had helped him with, but his powers of concentration were gone. No matter how hard he tried to focus his mind was smooth, a blank. A canvas that resisted paint.

Sighing in frustration he decided that he would try and fix the replicator that had been acting up. For the last week it had failed to heat food consistently. Cool ractajino was unbearable early in the morning.

He had put in a work request but since he had time to spare and an engineering extension course he decided he would fix it himself. Anything to keep himself from going mad.

Methodically he disassembled it and found the problem; it was a simple loose wire. He was almost frustrated because he had wanted something more complex to fix, something to really use his mind on.

Disappointed he put the replicator back together. He had just finished screwing down the panel when his door chimed.

"Enter." He brushed his hands on his uniform pants.

Ezri stood there in the door way, hesitating. Looking apologetic and out of place.

"Hi, Julian, it is just me. May I come in?"

"Of course, please have a seat. Would you like something to drink?"

"Yes please, a orange juice." Her large eyes followed him with concern as he complied with her request.

Julian went to the replicator and brought the beverage back to her.

She sat it down on the table and looked up at him.

"Well, aren't you going to sit down?"

Julian inclined his head and sat on the edge of his seat. He knew what was coming.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head, but inside he was shouting.

'_Of course I do not want to talk about it! If I had wanted to __**TALK**__ there is a very good chance I might have asked for it. But as I did not, __**NO**__. I do __**NOT**__ want to talk about it! Why must you be so annoying! Leave me to grieve in peace.'_

She leaned forward a bit seeing the flicker of emotion in his eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"We are all very sorry for your loss, she was a dear girl. I know you cared for her deeply. We are all here for you Julian. I just want you to know you do not have go through this alone." She looked at him earnestly with a sympathetic expression.

"You have not tried your orange juice yet." Was all he managed to reply.

'_Get the hint, I want to __**be alone!**__ Why must you press me when I so clearly want to be left alone? Don't you know this is torture? Do I have to tell you to go? No, I __**can't,**__ that would be rude. Why the hell can I not be rude? I lost the woman I love. That is reason enough. But no, I cannot be uncivil, it would crush her, she only wants to help. I have to get her out of here before I explode. But nicely. __**How**__ do I do that?'_

She took a sip, and then gasped in a strangled manner.

This at least elicited a response from Julian.

"Ezri?" He looked at her in growing concern.

She was standing now, coughing, no, gagging.

"I am sorry, but, that, that was terrible. I think I will be sick!"

She dashed out of his quarters holding her hand over her mouth.

Confused, Julian dipped his finger in and sniffed. I looked alright, it smelled citrus-y, and so experimentally he put the end of his finger in his mouth.

Ezri was right. It _was_ terrible. It had come out with the flavor and heat of jalapeno peppers, magnified by one thousand.

It burned. He rushed off to the bathroom to get some fresh water, not daring to use his replicator again.

Well, so much for fixing the replicator himself. Now he would either have to go out to the promenade or be hungry.

It was then he remembered his lunch plan with Garak, suddenly going out and having lunch seemed a better alternative to staying imprisoned in his quarters with its dark silence.

He took a last sip of water to try and ease the burn. It did not help. He could not help but feel sorry for Ezri who had taken a sizable amount and swallowed it before it registered.

He would go and check on her after his lunch.

With this thought on his mind he stepped out his quarters and headed to Garak's shop.

* * *

Garak was surprised to look up and see his friend standing beside the door at lunch time. He had of course found out about the unfortunate accident that had taken the young lady Bashir had been romantically interested in and thought he would no doubt wish to be alone.

"Why Doctor!" The Cardassians face had a smile on it.

"I had thought that I was going to have to dine alone today!"

Julian looked at him levelly.

"I still have to eat."

"Ah, yes. Of course. I had just thought you might want to, postpone, our engagement." He said delicately.

"Well, let me close the shop then we can get a table before it gets too crowded." He cast a few sidelong glances at Bashir, but his face was a mask, betraying no emotion.

On the way to the replimate Garak kept a stream of chatter about a new shipment of silk he was expecting. He paused at precise intervals to offer the doctor a chance to interject before smoothly continuing with his topic.

Bashir continued silent as he picked his tray and went to the table.

Garak paused his conversation, putting his energy into not spilling his soup, something that was hard to do with such a crowd milling around the tables.

He pulled a chair to the table Bashir had chosen.

"I am reading the book about being miserable that you suggested. I have to say, the Inspector character is quite an intriguing figure, He could almost be Cardassian!"

"You mean Les Miserables?"

"Ah, right! That was the title!"

There was a pause as both concentrated on their meal. It became apparent that Garak was not going to bring up Sarina's death.

"Why would the Maquis attack a civilian transport?"

Garak paused, surprised, with his spoon half-way to his mouth.

"Why should I know the workings of a terrorists mind?" Garak replied in his best, _"Only a plain and simple tailor."_ voice.

"If you ask me, I have been afraid for some time that an escalation would occur. Once you failed to bomb the planet where they were setting up, the Federation looked weak. And the weak are ever always prey to the stronger."

"Garak! You know we could never bomb a whole planet with innocent civilians on it!"

For the first time that day there was emotion behind the doctor's voice.

"Ah, that is my point, Doctor. Weak. By allowing them to be on the same planet they became collaborators. Bomb them and I promise most would think twice about letting them set up base on their planet."

"But as I was saying! There is no logic to it. What would they have to gain from attacking a transport?"

Bashir paused to take another bite. He could not taste anything; his taste buds had been seared.

"I am sorry to say I have no light to shed on their motives. But I _WAS_ sorry to hear about your friend."

Bashir looked up at his lunch companion and set his utensil down.

"Sarina was more than a friend. I, she understood me on a deeper level than anyone else ever has! I did not have to hide who I was or pretend to be like everyone. For the first time I was free to be myself, without dissembling."

Garak raised his brow ridges at the outburst.

"That indeed is a nice thing; one meets so few kindred spirits on this life of ours." Garak sipped his tea.

"No, Garak, don't you see! She was my equal in a way that someone who has not been genetically enhanced could not be."

Garak sat back slightly.

"I am afraid I do not quite follow, Doctor."

"Are you saying the young lady was genetically engineered like you were?"

"Of course. I thought you knew. And her name is, was, Sarina."

"Well, I did know you had a patent brought in and that you performed a brilliant bit of surgery and were quite the hero. But you will forgive me if I did not pursue it further." He precisely folded his napkin, focusing all of his attention on it.

The Cardassians eyes became sharp, hard.

"I operated on her and brought her into the land of the functioning. No more being placed in secluded institutions, relegated to cargo bays like luggage. She was cured, whole and had her whole life ahead of her."

Bashir did not notice the slight change in his friend's demeanor.

"And you say she had genetic manipulation performed, I take it she had quite the intellect?'

"Yes, in some ways she was smarter than I am. She was more intuitive, she could sense somehow the solution to the problems that I struggled with."

"She was amazing." Bashir's voice dropped.

Garak was leaning forward, taking in every word with the utmost concentration.

"Was her condition a side effect of her genetic manipulation?"

"Yes."

"She was genetically enhanced…."

Garak looked thoughtful as he reiterated this fact.

Then he looked up and seemed to remember his companion.

"Well, Doctor, I grieve with you on this loss."

Garak stood, preoccupied.

"I enjoyed the time as always. Should you need more conversation to keep your mind off of your loss I am at your disposal."

"Thank you, Garak. You are very kind."

Garak nodded and pushed his way through the throng to his shop.

Julian looked dubiously at his food before pushing it away; he stood and disposed of his food.

* * *

He wandered aimlessly for about an hour before remembering Ezri.

He hit his com badge. "Bashir to Ezri."

"Ezri, here."

"I was checking to see if you were alright after your misadventure with my replicator."

"Yes, I went to Dr. Girani and she gave me something to neutralize the capsasin. Thank you for asking."

"Is that all?"

"Yes. I am very sorry about that. I have my replicator on the repair list, though it has never done that before."

"That's alright, I am fine now."

"Again, sorry Ezri. Bashir out."

* * *

He headed back to his quarters. They were silent and dark, and somehow, he had an impulse from his childhood. He went and stood at his window looking out into the vastness of space and silently recited the _salat-l-janazah,_ the Muslim mourning prayer for Sarina.

It was an unusual impulse; he had given up any pretense at religion when he had changed his name. In fact it was fuzzy in his mind; the only other thing he could remember was the Hidaad, a three day mourning period. He dismissed the thought, it did not seem practical here on the station.

Time seemed to stand still, the stillness pressed in on him. He wondered how Lauren, Patrick and Jack would take the news.

No, he decided, they would not be told. It would only upset them too much for them to handle, It was hard enough when Sarina had left to go to another station.

He did decide a message to Dr. Karen Lowes would be in order. He relayed the sad news as briefly as possible.

Then while staring at the screen he thought of Sarina's companions again, of Patrick's piteous plea to be cured like Sarina.

At last, he knew he had a task he could set his mind to, and it would be a way of honoring Sarina, she had wanted her friends to be cured so badly.

For hours he was hunched over the computer, running simulation after simulation, running statistics, reconfiguring neural pathways, but every time he seemed close to a break through a fatal flaw would show itself and he would have to start over from scratch.

He felt like he was running circles, apparently _being_ genetically engineered did not guaranty the ability to_ replicate_ its success in others.

Scientific knowledge just did not extend far enough into this forbidden territory; he had to run every idea as a different simulation to see what would happen making it an exhausting and time consuming procedure.

The genetic therapy he was trying to work with to help the others, succeeded in increasing the neuronal activity in the cerebral cortex, but the number of synaptic pathways connecting the cortex to the visual and auditory nerve centers were always unaffected, or they degraded almost instantly leaving the brain unable to process the information collected, or in worse cases it would overload others and induce brain death.

So far they would end up as bad as Sarina or worse.

With a sigh he set his work aside. He would work more on it tomorrow.

Stretching out on his couch he fell asleep with the memory of Sarina's head resting on his shoulder, the warmth of her body next to his.

* * *

**Well, here is my next Bashir story started. Constructive reviews are appreciated!**

** OK, Edit. I had to take down my first review because of some very hateful and intolerant speech. I do not think it is acceptable to curse me out because I included a reference to a Muslim practice.  
**

**It was clear from the episode with his parents that he was intended to have a middle eastern heritage, I was trying to complement that. That does not make me evil. Muslims are a wonderful warm people. I know quite a few and respect their religion. One last note. Would Western religions like being judged on the actions of Westboro?**

**Writing is a creative outlet that should not be censored, and I will not remove the reference because someone hates/ fears the Muslim religion. After all, this IS Star Trek, all about inclusiveness and bridging gaps between people. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Butterfly Lost by Ivycat Chapter 2  
**

* * *

Odo was suspicious. His second favorite suspect was acting in a very odd manner. He had detected several encrypted messages to Cardassia sent from Garak's shop over the subspace relay.

The past week only one he had confirmed had been sent to someone working in the science department on Cardassia Prime. Indecently enough, it was the same facility he had been to several times as a 'specimen'. Garak was making a move to have him eliminated, he was sure of it. He and Quark were probably in the scheme together.

In the last four days Garak was receiving what could only be code messages in silk shipment manifests. He had also been in Upper Pylon Two in confabulation with a trader of Denevan crystals. All further proof of his underhanded plan.

And further more he was seen meeting with people of dubious character. Most of who were information brokers from the Occupation's days.

He was obviously trying to buy or sell information but what? To whom? He had tracked him for days with no solid evidence of wrong doing. He had been a shipping container, a bulk head panel and a bolt of cloth, all for nothing. Why was he selling or seeking information on Odo?

But Odo was persistent, he never stopped till the job was done, this would be no exception.

It was just like this slippery Cardassian.

Quark had the dubious decency to deal in tangible things, black market goods, smuggling, all very easy to trace, prove and get warrants for.

However, due to Federation policy he could not simply incarcerate Garak for '_acting suspiciously'_. Though he wished he could, Oh, how he wished he could. IN the days of Terok Nor he could have detained him indefinitely.

But Garak still remained elusive, just out of reach of Odo's long arms.

Quark, delighted with Odo's sudden preoccupation with Garak took the opportunity make some **very **profitable (and illegal) transactions.

Then to further inflame Odo's ire, there was the Cardassian who had showed up on the station last night, he had gone to Garak's quarters. Odo knew it was suspect from the moment the stranger had inquired the way to Chamber 901, Habitat Level H-3. No one EVER visited Garak in his room. Ever.

They were disobliging enough to not have anything sent in from Quark's; it was almost as if Garak knew of Odo's suspicions. And was thwarting his idea to infiltrate the room.

He set up surveillance around Garak's room, but somehow, the visitor managed to elude security altogether, there was no record of him having traveled to the station, this infuriated Odo, that was something he could have used to detain the unknown guest, being unregistered was a reason enough to be brought in for questioning it was inexcusable, sloppy, for him not to have checked that when the stranger first appeared. Odo's mood became even more irascible and touchy; Kira was the only one to not start giving him a wide berth.

Now he was still left with more questions than answers. He started following Garak openly, leaning against the far wall across from his shop and staring, his scrutiny was beginning to be known through the station, people started avoiding the shop. Garak never for a moment seemed the least put out by this sudden drop in clientele.

This was further proof of his guilt to Odo, if he was not hiding something he would have lodged a complaint with the station.

Garak would slip eventually, they all did, all he would have to do was wait.

* * *

Bashir rubbed his stiff neck. The past few days had been a blur, people came in, he treated them, and they left. Nothing of any real interest to him. It had been four days since he found out about Sarina.

He had just finished reading a communication from the institution she had been living at prior to being cured. They were all 'saddened to hear of her passing', it read.

"Saddened' like they would have been if their fish had died. It reinforced his anger at how those who were genetically enhanced were treated like second class citizens. Something he knew that the Federation would never admit, but there it was, a last lingering shed of fear and bigotry. Suppressing the 'different' because of what they 'might do'.

He had dealt with it ever since he had been discovered, everyone treated him differently, even his best friend, but Starfleet had been _gracious_ in allowing him to retain his post as long as his father submitted to punishment.

It was infuriating; he was one of the best doctors in Starfleet, but now every time he had a call to Starfleet Medical there was an undertone of condescension, an intimation that he should be grateful to be allowed to stay on in his position.

He fought it the only way he knew, by throwing himself into research to help the rest of the genetic failures. He stayed up late doing his research, sometimes falling asleep at his console. Dark circles began to become etched under his eyes. Fatigue gnawed at him.

The station routine continued as it always did, ships loaded and unloaded. It was uneventful, dull even, Quark's was always crowded but even there Julian could not shake the empty feeling inside, no matter how much Ezri and O'Brian did to try and cheer him up.

It was out of habit that he showed up for his weekly lunch with Garak, his heart was not in it; he would rather have spent the time with his research. He became obsessed with his quest to find a cure for the genetically enhanced, he began to turn down all of O'Brian's invitations to darts or holosuites.

He was a very silent and uninteresting companion this day, giving Garak only half of his attention.

Garak, however, was more animated than usual today, almost bordering on manic. His eyes were bright and darting, never resting on one place for long.

"Do you know, Doctor, I have it from some very reliable sources that there are some in the Dominion researching genetic engineering. "

"Well, that is not anything new." Bashir popped a grape in his mouth.

"You know, you really should have a word with your sources, Garak." Bashir teased.

"That is common knowledge. So common in fact that the Founders, the Vorta _and_ the Jem'hadar, told it to us. Both speak of it openly."

"Well, yes, but I have found for every admission there is a _darker truth_ that is being obscured."

"What if they took a renewed interest in it now that they have allied themselves with the Cardassians?"

"Well, I am sure Starfleet has thought of it and is keeping an eye on it." Bashir sighed.

"Why the sudden interest in genetics?"

"I? I can assure you, Doctor, _I_ am not in the slightest concerned by it, I merely thought it worth a moment's consideration. Why, did you know they have fully staffed the research center on Cardassia Prime for the first time since the end of the occupation, and Gul Kelvek is in charge?"

"Really? Well, good for them. Our information on your kind is sketchy; it will be good to have more information on file."

Garak paused delicately, "Well, I think you will find it is not that we do not _have_ the information, we just do not like to_ share_ it, when it could be used against us. You yourself have remarked on how, how did you put it? Ah, yes, _paranoid _was the word you used. How paranoid you believe we are as a race."

Garak leaned toward his lunch companion. "I often feel that you are not suspicious _enough_, even I, as a plain and simple tailor, feel you do _not look closely enough_ into your bed mate's doings, let alone your enemies. If you did begin to dig deeper I am **SURE** you would find much of interest to you. Even Odo agrees with me on this, and it grieves me to say, but you are known to be a naive people, complacent in your Federation. Misguided in believing you are safe.

While beneath writhes a veritable serpent of danger and intrigue. And that is never a good thing, I think you agree."

Garak always obfuscated and spoke in innuendo, but this was completely indecipherable to Bashir.

"Well, I am sure that is very interesting." He said for lack of anything else to say, blinking, not even trying to disguise his confusion.

Garak looked searchingly at the doctor.

"Yes, I _AM_ sure that **others** would find it interesting as well."

"Hmmm." nodded Bashir.

"I suppose."

Garak looked as close to annoyed as he could get.

He leaned in intently, expectantly.

Meanwhile Julian's mind had wandered to his research again and he had started staring past Garak and into the beyond of his mind.

"So, Doctor." Purred Garak.

"How are you recovering yourself after the unfortunate demise of your young lady?"

Bashir reeled back in his chair as if he had icy water thrown on him.

"What?" He looked at his lunch companion in shock.

"Your friend that died on the shuttle explosion. Sarina, I believe her name was."

Bashir sat silently, regarding Garak with troubled brown eyes. It was uncharacteristic of him to this blunt. His sudden turn of conversation was inconsiderate to the point of rudeness. And Garak was never outright rude

Garak's eyes were sharp and hard as he looked at his friend.

"It must have been hard to lose someone close to you like that. Even I can see you are a lonely man, and such a _remarkable_ girl is a priceless commodity."

Bashir glared as Garak twisted the verbal knife. This was inexcusable.

His fury mounting he shoved back his chair and tossed his napkin on his tray and strode away not bothering to clear his place.

Garak sighed in disappointment as he watched the doctor's back disappear in the crowd. His eye landed on Odo who was sitting at the table closest to them neither eating nor drinking of course, just staring.

Garak smiled brightly at him as he cleared the places.

"A very good day to you, Constable."

Odo gave a "Harrumph!" and continued to watch him intently.

"Ah, well then, as I am sure you are interested in knowing, I am going into my shop and will be there till closing. You are always welcome to stop by any time."

Odo tilted his head, it would take a keen observer to see it, but Garak was upset over something, something more than his pointless, inane conversation with the Doctor. Looking more pleased with himself than he had all week, Odo took his usual place in front of the tailor shop. Garak was getting rattled; soon, he would have him. It was only a matter of time.

* * *

When it came time for the shop to close Garak took the unusual step of going to Quark's Bar. And, even more suspiciously, he sat at the bar itself, directly beside Colonel Kira.

Of course Odo followed him in.

"Ah, Odo," The Colonel called to him, "Come and sit with me." She gave him a friendly smile that melted him inside, this could not have been better planned, he could sit beside Kira and keep his eye on the Feringi and Garak at the same time. This was proving to shape up to be a good night.

"Colonel."

He sat beside her and she began talking of her day, the whole of Pylon One had a cascade malfunction rendering it inoperable.

"This has put us behind for over three days if we are lucky, maybe even a week. And, the Captains, whew, let's just say there was a lot of shouting going on. O'Brian is working on it overnight, I just hope he can get it up, our flight patterns are getting filled up quickly, and I have no place to divert them to."

She gave a long sigh and sipped her drink.

"Any idea as to what caused it?"

"No, not really, there was a power surge that overloaded the system before it all began, but I don't know if they found the reason for that yet."

"How about you, Odo? Anything new going on?"

"No," He grunted."Just the routine station business."

He began to lose himself in her conversation, relaxing more than he had in the past week.

Suddenly she stiffened and turned towards Garak.

"What?" She snapped. Several people at the bar paused in their conversation and looked at her curiously.

"I was telling Quark here, that they are expanding research on Cardassia Prime." Garak sipped his drink.

"No, After that! What was the name you said?"

"Ah, you must mean the new Director of Research installed at the research facility. Doctor Bashir is quite enthusiastic, I assure you, seems to feel it will bring about a greater understanding of Cardassian physiology. You have to admire his commitment to…"

"The name! Garak! What was the _name_ you just said?" Kira smacked her hand on the bar causing Quark to jump. Odo looked at her curiously.

"Oh, you mean Gul Kelvek?" Garak's eyes were innocent, perplexed as he looked at the Colonel.

"**Butcher** Kelvek!" Kira hissed. "I thought he had been killed after the Occupation ended!"

"Apparently not."

Garak said calmly as he set his drink down.

"I have to go."

Kira blurted and she almost ran from the bar.

Odo stood and followed Kira.

"Kira, come back, Colonel! Wait!"

Confusion was on his face as he pursued her.

* * *

At the bar Garak drained his glass looking very pleased indeed. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and tilted his head with a slight smile. He should have sprinkled his trail of crumbs in front of the Colonel first. He _had_ thought that with the good doctor's flights of fancy and penchant of seeing intrigue in the most harmless of things he would have been the most likely candidate for the information, but he had either overestimated his lunch partner's ability to connect information, or the demise of his female friend had affected him more than he had thought.

Humans were an unpredictable lot when it came to matters involving emotions. Ah well, he _was_ getting rusty here to not have taken that into consideration. He would have to fix that.

"Another?"

Quark inquired, after seeing Odo had disappeared around the bend of the Promenade.

"What do you think all that was about with the Colonel?"

Quark leaned towards Garak as if inviting a confidence.

"No, thank you, I have everything I need."

Garak looked blandly at the bartender.

" I am sure I cannot fathom why the Colonel acted so emphatically. But then, she always has had vitriolic views of Cardassians. Even me, I who am but a plain and simple tailor." said Garak with an enigmatic smile as he walked into the dim light of the Promenade.

"Hmmm." Quark was no fool; his lobes were telling him that there was much more to this than he was seeing.

He looked after the Cardassian appraisingly; He would have to get to the bottom of this. There was not a vole on the station that sneezed but he knew about it. This would be no different. All information came to him eventually. He smiled and polished a glass.

"Broik! Get over here and take over for a while; I have a few messages to send. And try and not loose me too much money with your stupidity!"

"Yes Quark." Broik said meekly as he scuttled behind the bar.

* * *

Odo trailed along behind Kira, she immediately went to a comm Panel in ops and contacted someone on Bajor. He knew her well enough by now to know it was not a wise move to interrupt her, she was in one of her volatile moods that meant if pushed she could explode. That was not something he wanted to happen, she was already on Starfleet's radar for multiple violations of their policy.

He stood close by in the shadows as she sent multiple messages and attempted to reach contacts late into the night. It soon became apparent that there was a reason she had acted so unexpectedly, he really should have made the connection himself in the bar.

He still stood by her, silent even as he could feel his body aching for the release of reverting to his gelatinous state.

She worked with passion, feverishly pulling up records and consulting with various Bajoran ministers.

She downed cup after cup of ractajino, never even feeling her bodies need to rest. Adrenaline and caffeine were wonderful for that.

* * *

In his quarters Quark stared at the wall, perplexed. He had information, oh, yes; he had found out the meaning of the exchange in his bar, and it meant he was not going to be sleeping much at tonight, if at all. He rubbed his head. This was bad news. If it was true. Maybe, just maybe, it was a rumor….

* * *

In the bar Broik was sitting on a stool, slumped sleeping on the bar next to Morn who continued to drink, occasionally getting up to go behind the bar to pour another drink. He always made a meticulous entry in the computer adding it to his tab. One thing about Morn, he always settled a tab. Broik had not closed the bar before falling asleep.

* * *

Julian tossed and turned on his bed, it was just so uncomfortable, damn it! He should look into ordering a new mattress from Bajor; at least theirs were more comfortable than the Cardassians. Lately he had been losing sleep dreaming of finding a cure. Or working on a cure, he was not even sure if he knew the difference anymore. Maybe they were the same.

He was hot and tossed his blanket on the floor, got up for a drink of water and lay down again, tossed and cursed some more, then realizing he was cold he yanked the blanket off the floor and over his shoulders. This was madness. He was in control of his body; if he could not sleep he would lay perfectly immobile, clear his mind, which should do the trick! He lay on his back eyes wide open staring fixedly at the ceiling. He did not move the rest of the night, though sleep never came.

* * *

Garak sat at a table in his quarters, then stood and retrieved a book from a hidden panel in the wall. He walked back to the table, slowly, as if savoring every motion, opened the book, crossed off a name with a look of infinite satisfaction. Then he replaced the book and lay on his bed. He slept with a smile on his face.

* * *

The Colonel never went to her quarters, even after Odo had staggered off to his quarters, it was becoming almost impossible to keep his shape, and from the sound of things he knew he would probably need to be at his best the next few days.

It was always stressful when Kira recklessly threw herself into danger, and he knew that is precisely what was probably going to happen in the morning.

* * *

The majority of the station slept, unconcerned and unknowing as Deep Space Nine slowly rotated in the dark.


	3. Chapter 3

**Butterfly Lost, By Ivycat**

* * *

Sisko sighed. This was not shaping up to be a good morning; he had hardly put his feet on the floor when Kira started calling his com-badge and had insisted he come to Ops at once.

He tried to put it off long enough to have breakfast, but she cut him off telling him the Kai was waiting to speak to him in his office. For one horrifying second he had thought that she meant that the Kai was actually _here_, on his station, but then he realized that she meant in his office and let out a silent sigh of relief.

While better than the alternative he still dreaded the thought of dealing with her barbed remarks and deceit. Whatever she wanted it was not good, it was never good. He did not need the Prophets to tell him that, his human instinct went into overdrive around her. In old Earth vernacular, she 'Gave him the creeps.'

Well, there was no help for it, he had to go and face the proverbial lion in its/her den.

Once in his office he activated his screen, noting Kira hovering just outside his closed door. He assumed that this meant she knew what was being discussed and was interested in the outcome.

It turned out to be a more minor event. Evidently it had recently been discovered that a Cardassian who had posthumously been declared a war criminal for crimes against the Bajoran people had in fact been alive and well on Cardassia, if in hiding.

Of course the Provisional government was furious and wanted Starfleet's backing in sending in a covert task force to capture him and bring him to Bajor for the trial.

He more than half suspected that it would be a Cardassian style trial where the sentence was passed before trial began and the trial itself a mere formality.

Sisko delicately sidestepped the demand for Starfleet personnel to be involved, and instead extended the offer of contacting Cardassia and aiding in requesting Gul Kevek's extradition.

He could not be sure, but he thought that Kai Winn snorted in a most unholy manner when he said that.

"So, you are saying that you, the Emissary, are refusing to help Bajor in this matter?" She bristled at the screen.

"Not at all." He smiled courteously,

"I have said that we are ready to stand beside you as you began diplomatic negations to extradite him. All of our resources are ready to help you in this _diplomatic _situation."

"Forgive me, Emissary." She said, looking more like would rather order him to be poisoned than seek his forgiveness.

"But I am not sure you know of the extent of this mans atrocities during the occupation."

"I have been briefed." In fact he was looking at pictures and holovids that Kira had placed on his desk along with numerous report PADDs.

Well, now it was a good bet he would not be missing eating breakfast; the images had taken care of that for him. Maybe it was a good thing that he did not have a chance to eat before the meeting.

Quietly furious Kai Winn stepped back from her monitor.

"Thank you for showing exactly how far you are willing to go to help your people as Emissary. I shall make your cooperation known to the council."

Not even bothering with a sign off she cut transmission.

Sisko shook his head .

'_Well_, he reflected, _it could have been worse'._

With an impatient hand he flipped the images over; they probably had taken care of his desire to eat lunch as well. He would have to remember to thank Kira for that.

Interrupting his thoughts Kira burst in without even requesting entrance, she was angry, it was clear she had overheard his discussion with the Kai.

"I assume you talked to the Kai?" Her words were hard and brittle.

"Yes, I did. I told her that we were prepared to offer her our full assistance in opening diplomatic negotiations for his extradition." Sisko looked at her evenly.

"I see."

Her voice was strangled. This was not the news she had wanted, expected yes, but not wanted.

She straightened her shoulders and stood at attention.

"Sir, I want to request the use of a runabout to go to Bajor to help facilitate beginning negotiations. As a Starfleet liaison I think I could have a chance to do more good on Bajor rather than up here on the station."

Sisko considered this. He was no fool, he knew Kira wanted to be there for more than being a diplomatic conduit, but she did have a point, it would be beneficial for her to be on Bajor, and if she_ happened_ to lean on a few people to get Gul Kevek onto Bajor it would be much easier to overlook it if she was down on the planet then on the station.

"I will take it under advisement, Colonel."

"Yes Sir. I believe that Bajor means to begin contacting the Cardassian government this morning regarding the matter."

"Well, if they do, they will just have to do without the Starfleet liaison officer for a few hours, I will not be rushed into making my decision, is that clear?"

"Yes sir!" She stood to attention.

"Glad to clear that up. Now, if you don't mind I believe it is time for morning briefing."

Kira nodded. She replicated herself another ractijino and prepared for the meeting.

The morning crew filed in intermittently, O'Brian looking like someone who had been working all night, as indeed he had been. Sisko raised his brow when he noticed the dark smudges of oil and grime on his uniform, it was clear he had not showered or changed before coming into the meeting.

He would have to have a word with him about this; Sisko noted; it was unprofessional for him to show up in this state.

Julian came in, there was a remarkable lack of his usual vivacity, but then he had been that way since Sarina had died in the attack. A matter which was vexingly enough still unresolved.

Ezri came in glass of water in hand, her beverage of choice had been water for the last few days, which was curious, and he would have to remember to ask why she had switched so suddenly. Only the morning before he had offered her an orange juice, a drink she had seemed to prefer since being joined to the new host, and she had recoiled as if it was a cup crawling with serpents.

Worf stalked in and sat down, talking to no one and avoiding eye contact. Others slowly filled in.

O'Brian went first, he and his repair crew had been working on the Pylon all night and were happy to report that it was now fully functional; the cascade failure had been isolated and repaired as well. It seemed as if they would be starting the day off with a fully operational station.

(Maybe he would let O'Brian slide this time on his uniform.)

Then other matters were brought up and assignments handed out.

Odo made his report on security with customary brevity.

Sisko was about to bring up the upcoming negotiations regarding Kevek, Kira had been barely concealing her impatience the whole meeting, impatient for it.

Then there was the soft sound of a soft snore, he turned around quickly glaring, but all he saw was Worf sitting stolidly beside O'Brian who looked awake, if slightly punch drunk. It happened a few more times, but every time he looked both were alert and looking as if nothing had happened.

It was a few minutes later when he saw Worf quickly nudging O'Brian with his elbow as his head fell on his chest. This was enough.

"Mr. O'Brian. I commend you and your crew for a job well done, I am not sure any other engineer in Starfleet could have pulled off what you did, but I suggest you take the rest of the day off and catch up on your sleep. Tell the rest of the crew that worked an extra shift that they have the day off as well. Thank you Mr. O'Brian."

"Yes sir. Thank you sir!"

Miles stood and nodded, then walked in a slightly uneven pattern to the door and exited the room. Sisko hoped he made it to his quarters; it seemed as if Odo might soon be getting reports of a slumbering Chief on the promenade floor.

Kira cleared her throat in a very purposeful manner, bringing his full attention back to the meeting.

He decided to hand the briefing of the Cardassian situation over to her, just to give her something to do.

He gestured to her with his hand and sat at the table, steepling his hands under his chin as Kira laid out the discovery of the war criminal and the beginning of negotiations to get him back on Bajor for trial.

She had been very thorough, preparing a presentation outlining his exploits.

He had indeed been guilty of unimaginable crimes against humanity. He had used inmates of the Labor Camps to conduct experiments and also used the inmates to record their reactions to toxins and the collection and harvesting of tissue samples and body parts. Many of his "test subjects" died as a result of the experimentation or were murdered in order to facilitate post-mortem examination.

What was considered worst was his string of partial lobotomies on Bajoran's that he performed in the name of science that left the majority of his patient's brain dead. Not deterred by that fact he would then dissect the victims who were sometimes still breathing.

Everyone at the table looked nauseous and disturbed by the pictures that were on screen. Bashir turned away first unable to face the images any longer, then he was followed by Ezri who was fighting tears.

Even Sisko was affected by the revelations and felt rage simmering up inside of him, hot and acidic, as Kira went on.

In the end Sisko agreed to let Kira go to Bajor, it seemed that it was the most expedient thing to do; it would keep matters more internal to Bajor on Bajor. And, in truth he was much more motivated to see the bastard brought to justice after hearing the full extent of the atrocities he had committed.

He approved her taking the runabout as soon as the Staff meeting was over, she wasted no time in setting out, and striding so fast to where it was docked she was almost running.

* * *

Sisko of course had to place some calls to Cardassia to encourage their cooperation in entering into dialogue with Bajor. However his day spiraled down further once he actually managed to reach Gul Ducat, who had been "unavailable" for the first few attempts at communication.

He was beginning to be put out by the refusal of Cardassia to return his messages when finally he got a response.

"Well, Sisko, what is so urgent that you had to call me out of a council meeting?" Ducat scowled and looked irritated.

Sisko put on his most patient smile.

"I am sorry about the interruption, but Bajor has asked that I be party to negotiations about…"

"I know all about it, Sisko. And I can assure you that it is COMPLETELY unfounded. We have no record of any doctor of that name here on Cardassia, and our research facility is merely that, a bio research center specializing in agriculture. I fail to see where _that_ is a concern either of the Federation or the Bajoran's, Really, this is just an insult, if we are to be accused of harboring criminals every time a rumor starts on Deep Space Nine it will be a very irritating development for us and quite exhausting for you if you treat all of them with the same amount of credulity."

"So you say that you have no knowledge at all of a Dr.- "

"No, how many times do I have to tell you? We have no knowledge of a Gul Kevek . All our records clearly state he died seven years ago."

"But, I am sure; you of all people know that records can be falsified."

Said Sisko.

Ducat bristled, "Are you trying to imply I am not telling you the truth, Sisko, because, let me tell you…"

"I am not trying to say anything of the sort, I am merely here as an aid to the Bajoran Provisional government while they sort this out."

Sisko tried to pacify the irate Cardassian on screen. But it was no use.

"I am a very busy man, I see no further need to continue this conversation. "

Abruptly Ducat cut the signal. Leaving Sisko staring at the blank screen.

He was hiding something, which was very clear. Muttering under his breath about

"Damned Cardassian evasiveness." Sisko went out to see about getting coffee.

* * *

It had been a long three hour trip to Bajor, and though she was glad to see her planet again she did not enjoy her first view of it as she usually did when coming out of orbit, she was preoccupied with remembrances of seeing the survivors of his experiments on Bajoran's, Kevek had done the most barbaric medical research on Bajoran's, all in the name of science, crude, cruel unnecessary experiments. They served no real purpose, removing limbs and transplanting them onto others to measure results, all without sedation of course.

She had actually been there when they had brought all of Kevek's victims to the hospital. She was being treated for injuries sustained in a fire fight right before the ceasefire. She had seen firsthand how great the suffering he had inflicted on the helpless. She remembered how she sat helpless and in horror as stretcher after stretcher was brought past with remnants of Bajoran's on them, some were missing limbs, some hideously disfigured from caustics… seasoned fighter as she was she had staggered out and been violently sick. Kevek's consuming passion was for eugenics, the search for the keys to unlock the secret of genetics and reveal the sources of intelligence.

She shook herself back to reality, she had to focus. Her purpose in being here was to bring Kevek to Bajor to stand trial.

She had to be dispassionate and calm about this. Or as close to it as she could manage. She ran her hand threw her hair and sighed in the silence of the shuttle. It was instinctive to her to run the landing sequence. At last she landed with a bump, she had been too distracted to make this one of her better landings.

Once on Bajor she was met by a group of Ministers and Vedeks. So far Cardassia had refused to even acknowledge that Kevek was on Cardassia, she was informed.

"Well, there is really no surprise there. They would hardly just hand him over to us." Kira replied looking around at the group.

"What are we planning to do about it?'

The plan became clearer as Kira noticed many from the Underground days in the crowd. They would not be there if a diplomatic solution was being considered, for a moment a quick, hot flair of excitement rose up in her. This was after all what she had dreamed of all these years, to hunt him down and bring him to trial for his horrific deeds.

Kira was hustled into a secure room in the ministry with many of her fellow fighters.

* * *

**Next Night Cardassia Prime**

It had been relatively easy to take the science compound, at first. They actually thought they might be able to extract Kevek with minimal fighting.

Then wave after wave of Cardassian soldiers boiled out. Why on earth was there this much security at a science station? Kira wondered as she heard Jitu call retreat. They had expected heavy resistance, but nothing of this magnitude. Jitu was certainly in no way prepared to deal with it.

Not that she was any good at following orders, she thought as she sprinted towards cover in some bushes that grew around the compound. She had absolutely no intention of leaving without Kevek.

She was not surprised Jitu had called retreat, he was not a soldier, he was a politician who had held an honorary position in the military, he had no idea of what it would involve, on this point she and many other resistance fighters agreed on the way over. It was only political machinations that had him leading the group. He had been forced upon them by Kai Winn for some unknown reason.

It was an unspoken agreement on the way over that they might have to take over the job and finish it themselves in the end. She touched the front of her jacket, almost for reassurance.

Once in cover she heard a twig snap behind her, she wheeled around, phaser side arm at the ready, only to see two of her fellow Resistance fighters had the same idea.

"Why are you here?" she hissed, "They called retreat!"

The sound of firing still continued all around, screams punctuated the night. It seemed that many others were not retreating either.

"Same reason as you, we are not good at following orders and we think if they are protecting something this ferociously it must be something we really need to know about. Kevek for sure, but I think there must be something more, something they are desperate for us not to find out."

"Agreed."

At this point Kira unzipped her jacket and showed the explosive devise she had procured. One way or another Kevek was not getting out freely. Once the call for retreat was made Kira assumed it was up to her and now two other renegades to take care of the matter. There was no way to tell how many if any were following their lead.

The other nodded in unspoken agreement, the air heavy and hot with humidity. It stank of blood and burnt flesh.

Kira skirted the edges of the fire fight and struggled to drag a Cardassians body into the brush, the others wordlessly understanding helped, then they repeated the process two more times, it was only a minute needed for them to don the deceased Cardassians uniform and wrap cloth about their heads to help aid in the disguise.

The horrific blood stains on the uniforms only made their reentrance into the compound more believable. In fact several times they were waved on by Cardassians who provided cover fire as the three sprinted into the building. Once in they melted into the nearest dark corridor. They knew for the plan to work they had to be lower and in the center of the building. The tricky part was going to be getting far enough out of range once the explosive device detonated.

The ideal plan was for them to locate and apprehend the doctor, but blowing up the research facility with Kevek inside was a close second.

They skirted around soldiers who were still in the compound, always trying to go deeper and farther in.

There were loud explosions outside that made bits of plaster fall from the walls and shower down on them as they involuntarily ducked.

One of her companions looked up after a second.

"That was a Bajoran explosive devise…"

"Why do you think that?" Kira choked through the dust.

"Because that was what I did in the occupation."

"Wait a second, you made bombs?"

He nodded.

"Then why am I carrying this one and not you?"

He looked at her evenly.

"Because I don't have room to carry anymore." He unzipped his jacket and revealed an impressive array.

Kira grinned.

"Fair enough."

Then another explosion shook the walls.

Far down the hall they began to hear screams, not the screams of injured fighters, or even terrified staff, it was the heart wrenching screams of a being n agony. The scream of a desperate, dying animal.

Kira turned and sprinted towards the sounds. She hardly heard her companions admonishing her to stop and wait for them to cover her. She skidded around the corner, her heart hammering as the scream cam again.

She went to the door and opened it swiftly, then stopped, frozen in place.

He was there.

Butcher Kevek.

And he seemed not at all disturbed by the explosions outside, or the fact she had just burst into the room. He was conducting an experiment on a Bajoran. He had been the one screaming, she recognized him, though he was hardly a shadow of his former self, his face contorted with pain as he writhed against the restraints holding him into the table. Digging into his flesh and causing rivulets of blood to run down his arms.

He had been one of the most prominent scientists on Bajor, and many declared him a genius. Kevek hardly looked up at her, and he was feverishly working near the man's head with a scalpel as if desperate to finish.

Without thought Kira raised her phaser and fired it on highest stun setting full into his chest. He fell without a word, his scalpel falling on the floor, glinting cold and silvered, edged with red.

Kira rushed forward and reached out to free the man, but then stopped, he was so injured that she dared not touch him. He groaned and tried to say something, but only blood came out of his mouth.

"Quick!" It was the smaller of her companions.

"Start recording!"

He pulled out a compact holovid camera and began recording everything. That was part of their strategy, to start sending out live recordings to Bajor and Federation in real time to prove the existence of the doctor and his lab, in hopes that the Federation might be mobilized to send a few support vessels to help them escape. Of course, there was always the chance that as soon as the Cardassians knew of the recording they would try and began damage recovery and not compound the situation by attacking. It was a gamble; one that Kira had very little faith in working.

She stood over Kevek's body, ready to fire as a new group of Bajorans swarmed in with the news that they had overtaken the compound. Somehow most of the Cardassian soldier melted off into the night leaving the compound to them. It seemed as if it was to be damage control after all.

They began to spread out searching other rooms; they were full of non-Cardassians being experimented on.

Someone pulled up some computer files that showed he had been doing some kind of genetic experiments. There was a choking sound at her feet. Kevek was waking up.

"What were you doing here?" Kira demanded, placing her foot hard on his throat as he struggled. His grey eyes were shifting and crazed.

"Answer me!"

He gave a choked, gravely laugh, sounding wild and insane.

She eased up the pressure from her boot slightly. He did not lift his head when he spoke, but the gravel was gone from his voice.

"Why?"

The question was ripped from Kira as she surveyed images on the screen.

"Now you have seen. Are you satisfied?"  
A

"No"

barely made its way out of Kira's mouth.  
"Get used to that."

He then began to laugh. Kira fired again. He was most certainly mad.

Everything detached for Kira, She heard that there were eight victims found alive in other rooms. They gathered them up and began to run towards the ship. Someone was yelling about the data being corrupted and lost.

Then as the last person was loaded and they lifted into the air an explosion ripped through the science building reducing it to rubble. Kira could not see Kevek, he must have been put on another ship, which was good, because she did not think she could use the stun setting a third time. It would be too tempting to slide the cool metal switch up to full setting and vaporize him.

Easy, no one would blame her; they would envy her in fact. But then, if she resorted to personal executions how much different did that make her from a Cardassian?

It was a long but uneventful flight back to Bajor; The Cardassians did not attempt to interfere with their escape, something that Kira was unable to fathom. Somehow it was unsettling and instilled in her an uneasiness she could not shake.

On Bajor when the victims were examined one seemed to be of special concern and the Government requested that Dr. Bashir allow her to be treated on the station. Kira remained behind for a day to assist in debriefing. It was a matter of great frustration to all of the team who were on Cardassia to learn that Kevek had committed suicide in his cell as soon as he had been placed there.

She was not aware of when the shuttle with the eighth victim left for Deep Space nine, or that its passenger might be of interest to her. She was too full of rage to think of anything but how many Bajorans were cheated of closure by Kevek's suicide.

* * *

On the shuttle the medics were too perplexed to give much thought to news from Bajor. It was on the way back to Bajor from Cardassia that they began to realize how great of a puzzle they were being faced with. The girl they rescued registered no life signs on any instrument, she did not read as deceased, just, absent, no scanner or tricorder could pick up any of her life signs at all, it was as if the girl in front of them was a hologram.

She appeared humanoid but was unresponsive. There was no information on her at all and it was thought best to send her to the closest Federation facility because of their extensive knowledge of other species.

* * *

Bashir was at his weekly lunch with Garak, well, actually this was his second lunch with him this week. He had been puzzled by the variation in routine, but had accepted the offer more out of curiosity than anything else.

Garak seemed mildly interested in the topic of the Cardassian who was to be extradited to Bajor for war crimes.

Garak seemed to be inclined to admire his devotion to research.

"You know Doctor, The things he's been able to imagine and calculate using the power of his mind alone is mindboggling. However, and this is a very important thing - he is still Cardassian. He is as much influenced by bias as the next Cardassian. We can easily fear those things which we do not understand, and fear makes us take stances or actions that often fall outside the bounds of rationality. Anything outside our experience is potentially a source for fear."

"So, you are trying to excuse what he did by saying he was **AFRAID**?" Bashir was incredulous.

"Just so, Doctor, he had a deep seated need to remove the variables from any situation, in this case, the brain. He felt as if he had to have complete knowledge of its workings. The thought that there was some part of it he did not understand was unacceptable to him."

"It sounds as if you admire him, Garak." Bashir spit out.

"Why I do, Doctor, I do think he might have gone a little too far in his research, but his fundamental drive was so very _Cardassian_ in its single-mindedness that one cannot help but respect it, even if I was not overly enamored of him as a person."

"We Cardassians also are social beings who thrive on their connections to others. We are not monsters any more than the Klingons.

And we Cardassians only reach the conclusion that the only thing to fear is what we do not know, because we fear the unknown. Fear is a response engineered into us by millions of years of evolution. Nature is a good programmer, but nature quite often makes mistakes. Thus, we have fear.

And fear, my good Doctor, is what primarily motivates every sentient thing in the galaxy."

Bashir tried not to look as confused as he felt, again. This was becoming somewhat of a pattern in their lunch conversations.

"Essentially, we'll never truly be able to distinguish between "right" and "wrong" actions. At any given time in history, however, philosophers, theologians, and politicians and any number of other professions will claim to have discovered the best way to evaluate actions and establish the most righteous code of conduct. But it's never that easy. Life is far too messy and complicated for there to be anything like a universal morality or an absolutist ethics."

Garak sipped his tea and looked over at his companion.

"What do you think, Doctor?"

"What I think, Garak, is that you are talking in riddles again. So you knew Kevek, you say?"

"I have met him a few times."

"And after all he has done you can still sit across from me and say you admire your friend for what he did?"

Garak threw back his head in a spontaneous burst of laughter. He seemed to find something Bashir said very amusing.

"**Friends**! I never said I liked him. I might even have reason to_ resen_t him for a_ minor_ thing that happened when we crossed paths. What I _did_ say was that I respected his commitment. And _Tha_t, I am sure you will agree is a different matter entirely!"

Bashir was saved from responding by his comm. Badge going off.

"_Infirmary to Dr. Bashir."_

"Bashir here."

"_We just got word that the patient from Bajor is almost here. They have requested a medical team on landing."_

"On my way."

He stood and stretched.

Garak was staring at him fixtly with his slightly reptilian gaze. He almost seemed to be smiling.

"I am sorry to cut this short, Garak, but duty calls."

"Of course Doctor. I understand."

There was no denying it. Garak was smirking at him in a most odd way, as if he had a secret…

But then all thoughts focused in on getting his team ready to receive the Bajoran patient and he forgot Garak, and indeed, the rest of the world as he hurried to the docking bay.


	4. Chapter 4

**Butterfly Lost Chapter 4 By Ivycat**

* * *

The team was already assembled, waiting to the side. As soon as the airlock opened Bashir entered as the Bajoran medical team pushed the patient out.

"Status?"

"Patient is unconscious, has not regained conscious since rescued."

Three Bajoran medics surrounded the stretcher and pushed it hastily. Their faces were tense and strained.

He looked towards the patient; her face had been obscured by bandages. Female, age unknown. Species- "What is her species?"

"Humanoid, Human as far as we can tell, but it is difficult to ascertain with any clarity.

"She has head trauma?"

"More like experiments in the cranial region. She was one of the victims recovered from Kevek's lab."

The revulsion in the Bajoran medics tone was clear.

Bashir's lips thinned.

"Let's get this moving, come on!"

They headed towards the infirmary at a jog, Bashir beside the antigrav stretcher trying to get readings from his instruments. But there were no readings, he studied his tricorder as he ran along the stretcher, He had actually checked to make sure this particular tricorder was functioning as he left the infirmary. This malfunction should not be possible.

He cursed himself for not having ordered the patient to be transported directly to sickbay, it would have saved precious time, but he just did not have the information he needed to make that decision. He had no idea that he would be dealing with such severe head trauma.

They were almost at the infirmary, he tried again, but his tricorder brought up nothing, not even detecting a deceased body. Cursing he reached out and yanked the stretcher to a stop and bent over the patient feeling for a pulse in the neck. It was weak and thready, but it was there. He gave a sigh of relief; at least he knew it was a malfunction of his tricorder now. He motioned for them to start up again and he dashed off ahead to retrieve another tricorder. It was when he was almost out of the doors of the infirmary when he heard the commotion. Someone, probably a bystander, screamed.

It was hard to tell what was happening in the confusion, a few Bajoran security personnel ran past, blocking him momentarily. Then he saw the stretcher on its side, tilting at an angle, hovering just above the floor. The medical personnel and security seemed to be tried to subdue the patent who had suddenly regained consciousness. There was a flurry of limbs and exclamations as they tried to contain the patient. He turned back to his station and quickly slipped a unit of sedative in a hypospray and advanced. He had to reach the patient quickly, this confusion was not going to help at all, and god only knew what had happened on Cardassia to the patient. The poor woman would be terrified out of her mind after being in Kevek's lab.

He caught a glimpse of swirling hair in the center of the confusion.

"_Stop NOW_! Everyone take a step back." Bashir barked, trying to take control of situation.

His emotions were tumultuous, as he stepped forward and saw the figure that security was wrestling down. She must have been half crazed from her time on Cardassia because the girl fought wildly, with the restless fury of a trapped animal, there was no plan or deliberation to her struggles, just an instinctive, desperate bid for freedom. Her bandages had fallen loose he noted. (Only a moderate amount of blood, that was good.)

He ran the last few steps, his hand palming the hypospray, ready to slip into the mêlée and administer it to the victim as soon as he got a opportunity, judging from the weakening of the struggles it would not be very long now before she had to stop fighting, she could not going to sustain this level of adrenaline for long.

He pushed through the crowd just she spun around, he froze, his arm half extended towards her in preparation to sedating her.

In that moment three significant things happened.

First, Security and medical alike stepped back on the doctor's orders, leaving Julian and the patient face to face.

Second, His face registered shock as he froze in place, trying to register the impossible. He still clasped the hypospray but made no move to approach her in his surprise. Her face revealed nothing as she turned away from him and tried to stagger away unsteadily, escaping the circle of unprepared medical personnel.

Third, a maintenance worker finished repairs behind the wall in Garak's shop and left the access panel open long enough that he could satisfy his curiosity as to what was going on out near the infirmary.

* * *

It seemed as if the world was spinning and tilting wildly as she ran, stumbling on her hands and knees at times like a dog. She heard the sound of pursuit closing in on her, but she somehow managed to evade it. Her breaths came ragged and rasping as she dealt with the unaccustomed strain. But as unsteady as she was, there was an energy coursing through her that pressed her ever on. She had to escape; she had to run, these things were screaming at her in her head relentlessly. The shouts of her pursuers came closer giving her a burst of extra speed.

She fled, narrowly dodging an outstretched arm reaching to grab her. Lurching around a corner into a shop filled with cloth, without any knowledge of how she knew what it was, she saw an access door and scrambled inside of it, pulling it closed behind her. She held her breath, afraid they would hear her harsh ragged breaths, but while her tormentors entered the shop they did not come close to the panel she was hiding behind.

Once they had left she began an awkward crawl, her single destination in and down, towards safety. This space station was probably powered by a fusion reactor which used nuclear fusion to generate energetic plasma for various uses. She knew this would emit strong enough field to disrupt their sensors and give her a place to hide. She knew she was in a space station because of the subtle vibrations it gave off; most would never have noticed it. It was a fact that every place she had been had its own distinct sound or vibration. This was familiar, but she did not pause to analyze where she knew it from. Her sole focus was to escape from the Cardassian lab she had been taken too.

Her head began to hurt, blinding pain that caused her to gasp soundlessly as it pierced her skull and settled behind one eye. She still struggled on; she would die if she did not. She knew this with certainty. It felt as it were about to split open, or had just been split, which was it?

Sudden flashes of being strapped down to a table, of gleaming instruments caused her to come to a shuddering stop as she whimpered and grabbed at her head.

Then she slowly inched forward, ignoring the pain, driven by instinct to escape.

It soon became easy to tell when she was approaching closer to the core, the temperature grew ever hotter and more stifling, but she never slowed, not even when the grids began branding angry red marks into her hands and knees, even when the air became so hot it was causing her throat to close spasmodically, she kept going.

The metal snaps of on her gown began to be pulled towards the core from the magnetic field. She was either unaware of the danger she was in approaching so close, or did not care, she was never able to recall which it was, maybe it was a bit of both. She only stopped when her energy was completely spent, her legs shook and refused to respond to her commands, then they failed completely despite the urging in her head to run. They were now shaking, weak things that no longer obeyed the signals from her brain. Sinking down, resting her head on her arm she sunk into a stupor, the last thing she remembered was the smell of burning cloth and singing hair. And the heat, stifling, choking heat.

_She dreamed of waking up in the blindingly white room. Strapped down securely, she had been bewildered and frightened, calling out for someone to help her, to tell her what was going on, but no one came. She went over the experience of being caught in the tractor beam, how the other passengers were frightened and crying out, climbing over one another to try and see what was happening, Then a suited figure had beamed in and tossed a canister in the midst of the crowd, almost instantly the people closest fell down unconscious. She vividly remembered see a small boy of around three twisting and jerking, white froth bubbling out of his mouth before he went limp. Then her world went dark and she woke up in the white room._

_She was not sure how long she had been there when they came. They never spoke or replied to her questions; just wheeled her into another white room, only this one was glinting with silver objects. She had been in enough surgical labs to recognize one when she saw it, even if was on another planet._

_Then it began, the testing, probing. The overwhelming pain. She did what she knew best. In her mind she escaped to a place of security, of creating elaborate labyrinths and geometric designs, imagining herself in the center of one, its creator, building a mathematically impossible barrier to finding her, but it did not last for long, once she felt the sting of the hypospray she knew it would only be a matter of time till she lost herself and swirled down into the depths of confusion and terror. When she was drugged nothing made sense to her, everything became distorted and strange. She had to get away. She knew that, but somehow she could never could. Not even the days when she was injected with something that made her feel like she was being consumed by fire from the inside out. She lost count of how many times this happened to her. Almost as many times as she was subjected to invasive probing of her cranium and brain. The pain was unimaginable. But she did not cry or scream after the first day, she retreated farther inside of herself leaving only her shell. She could hear the screams of others as they were operated on and tested, and deep inside somewhere she ached to be able to reach out and comfort them, but she was never able to find a way out of herself to do so._

_She wondered what it would feel like to have the wind blowing on her face, to hear birds chirp and trill._

* * *

Back in the infirmary Bashir was livid; he gave his unvarnished opinion in his biting manner of the competence and intellect of the medical and security personnel who had failed to catch her.

He was still reeling for the realization that Sarina was alive, that she had been in Kevek's lab for so long, enduring the experiments of a madman.

HE was not sure how she had managed to elude capture; she should have been severely Weakened by the time on Cardassia. But somehow she had managed to escape, probably into one of the access hatches near the promenade, now she was lost deep in the walls of the station, probably terrified and confused. And, as if that was not reason for concern enough, it now appeared that somehow she had been rendered undetectable by all scanning equipment. He had no idea how this could be possible, but Miles was insisting that it was. The medics who had transported her also reported difficulty in getting her life signs to register on their equipment. Bashir paced up and down in the infirmary snapping at anyone who got in his way as his mind raced over a thousand possibilities and how to prepare for them.

O'Brian was in ops wrestling with the problem of how Sarina could escape being detected by any sensor on the station Sisko was breathing down his neck and Julian was contacting every ten seconds or so trying to get an update.

"Look Sir," said O'Brian plaintively after replying to the fifth call from Julian,

"I can't say HOW she is escaping all our sensor sweeps, I just am saying she IS. I cannot find any record of her anywhere on the station. It's like she is not even here!"

"Unacceptable!" Sisko snapped at him.

"I want results, not excuses, Mr. O'Brian. Now find that girl!"

Julian burst on the bridge, breathless and pale.

"I want to know what the _hell_ is taking so long! I have a patent that is disoriented and critically injured that I have to treat, and I do not appreciate this delay!"

"Look, **SIR**." Snapped O'Brian.

"I cannot track what my sensors can't see. Now, you are just going to have to be patient till I can configure these to find her some way."

Bashir threw his hands in the air and turned to Sisko.

"Sir, I recommend that we flood all maintenance tunnels with anesthizine gas. Then we can put on respirators and go level by level till we find her."

"That seems rather drastic, don't you think Doctor?"

"No, No I don't." was the sharp reply. "What I think is **DRASTIC** is allowing a brutally injured, confused person to wander the station without sufficient efforts to find her, sir!"

"Doctor…"

Sisko's tone made it clear to Bashir that he was stepping over the line, it was equally clear from his face that Bashir did not give a damn.

"I strongly recommend that we use anesthizine, seventy parts per million, flood the tunnels and start searching for her in person. I also recommend Odo be included as he will not be affected."

Sisko thought a second, but then motioned to O'Brian.

"If she were to make it close to the core what would happen?'

Well, sir, as you know, Inside the reactor, two deuterium atoms are fused together to form a single helium atom. This reaction generated a massive amount of energy, which is be used to power various systems throughout the station. The heat and radiation put out are significant, enough to require protective gear. Though I really do not think that radiation is a big danger, the shielding takes care of most of it; the heat alone is enough to deter a man from going too close if you ask me."

"Do it."

Then turning to the doctor he said.

"Get the team assembled and brief them on what to do if they encounter the girl."

Bashir nodded and left at a run using his comm. Badge on the way to the supply locker that housed the respirators.

It was not much of a surprise that most all of the medical staff volunteered, of course all of security, even Ezri and most of the engineering department showed up, more than they actually had equipment for. He ended up having to select those who could traverse the distance the quickest. As they were being brief he also handed out hyposprays containing hyronolin to be used if she was found within a certain distance of the radiation.

As he adjusted his mask he began crawling as a whitish vapor began to fill the Jefferies Tubes, He checked his tricorder which guided him on his search area, and the lack of visibility was not helping. He would almost have to be crawling beside her to find her. With a sigh he started his tour of the innards of the upper docking ring. His knees were already starting to ache.


End file.
